Good Wednesday evening! Thanksgiving is over again. Black Friday has been and gone. And once again, it is painful to have family gather at our home with
so very noticeably missing. Combined with my mother,
, and my sister, Carol, missing, it provided a gaping hole in my heart.
But we made it through, we spoke about Sheryl and my mom and sister a great deal. We were joined by Aunt Shelia , Barry 's mom, Peggy and his Aunt Brenda, my sister's husband, Joe, and her son Jason , and Barry's brother, David .
For me, it is somehow therapeutic to talk with others who knew the missing folks, share stories that still make us laugh, stories that can make us cry, and mostly to remember the beautiful souls we are missing. And Joe brought some great old family pictures that were taken when I was nine years old and some even older. Charlene (Bo), Joe had some pictures of you he shared, too...you're included in the family, you know.
Barry and I are on vacation this week. On Monday Barry cleared out space in the garage for his pool table to be delivered yesterday. It was delivered yesterday and looks right at home in its old spot in the garage. And I got to remember several of Sheryl's friends helping us move it out there about eight or 10 years ago. I'm not naming names because I don't want to risk leaving anyone out. Good memories (just not a reliable memory)!
As we were watching a movie today (Three Billboards...highly recommend it) I realized I still ask why. And I began to wonder what I would do with the answer if I actually got one. Then later, after further reflection, I realized that no matter what the answer I might receive was, it would never be good enough. There simply is no explanation good enough to explain why my Sheryl had to be taken from this life so young. Over one foolish mistake? Nope, I can't buy it.
And then I knew that's why the questions of this nature that we ask God are not answered; He knows there is no explanation that we would or could ever accept. It wouldn't matter if I learned that her death saved the rest of the world. I would see the good in that but still wonder why someone else couldn't have sacrificed one of their ten children so that my ONLY child didn't have to go.
I only know that I am supposed to share Sheryl's legacy for wanting to help other people with the world. I'm sure that's what Barry and I are supposed to do. And hope we are continuing to have an impact.
If you are a parent and your child is nearby, tell them you love them, kiss them an extra time or two tonight, and remember that tomorrow is not a promise. Life as we know it can change in an instant and at any second, any one of us can be gone. Don't fall into the complacency of "My child would never try heroin." Remember, Sheryl was in school working towards becoming an addictions counselor. She knew the danger and experimented anyhow. She was not addicted and had only used three time. And the experiment killed her. She died from intoxication from heroin...short version: the breathing and sleeping centers of her brain slowed down (as all opiates will cause) and she simply stopped breathing in her sleep. short length sexy wears suitable for a wedding
If you are using or thinking of doing so, LEARN from Sheryl's fatal mistake as she would want you to do. If you're sick and tired of walking around with this monkey on your back but you just don't know how to stop, find me. I will get you to the people who can help you. No lectures, no judgment, period.
Good night Baby Girl! I love you and miss you so very much. There is a gaping hole in my life that nothing can fill. I'm learning to function around it, but it still rears its ugly head. Give your Bubby and Aunt Carol big hugs from me and tell them that I love and miss them, too.